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Mourning

from Rise of Andromeda (HE16) by UVGLOV

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lyrics

My brain devouring
All that could have
Happened between us.

Sweet loss is sugar hard.
A crystalline mesh.
I wish nothing happened
In the first place.

A foundation for something
Ruby-perfect.

A programme-like precision
But none of it intuitive.
Feelings were telling me,
Splitting the guts,
Spilling the truth blood.

The ruby-blood of my own sense
Causes epilepsy in your eyes.
The pink shade
Stabbing my heart for never seeing them.

I wish they wrapped me in my deathbed:
A metaphor for my disillusioned femininity.

A bird of freedom gulping
down its own constraints.
I wish it was easy,
But until one of us faints,
There are no winners.

Choking on my own dignity,
trying to swallow the insecurity,
That is infinity.
It gets harder to.

It will never happen to you
To see the dead bloom
I’ve been keeping for you.
It’s a shame it has to rejuvenate
And conceal its fragility.

But from whom???

There is not enough pills and powders
To mask and hide your scars.
I see through you as if you were glass,
Blinded by the glossy reflections
of your imperfections.

I want to see myself
But all I see is DEATH.

The electricity of the dance floors
Unravelling the most secret of tensions.
The sacred darkness of been one
And how it could be two or three or four.

The romanticism of the unknown
Blurring the most sober of visions.

I wish it was two.
I wish it was four.
I wish it could be more.

But as long as one of us
Is swirled in confusion.
It is only one.
It was just once.
It’s always been one.

But for now, all I can do
Is let my brain devour
All that could have happened
with two.

credits

from Rise of Andromeda (HE16), released April 10, 2020

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